life is a biotch. sometimes when i think about all of the things i have to do to keep my life on track, it boggles my mind that people far less responsible than i actually pull this off. i mean, i have to keep enough clean dishes to try not to eat my cereal out of coffee mugs, try to keep mia alive everyday (and trust me, this one is tough. homegirl jumped from my window to five stories below during a tornado when i wasn’t home. how she got outside remains to be solved. see picture below of how hard i was crying / how mad i was at her for reference), and remember to put on mascara on all 4 quadrants of my eyes. and that’s just before 8am.
the jealously that single ladies have over taken ones is all around. every now and then, my best friend and i will talk and be like, “holy shit… _______ is engaged! that means that someone actually loves her!” or “omg, did you see _______’s ring on the f-book? it’s f-ing hideous! i’d be so pissed!” and although some of the above might be true (really…that girl’s engagement ring is actually ugly), it all stems from jealously because those things are happening to them and not us.
now, there are times in my life when I think, damn. this sure would be a lot easier if i had a significant other to fill my gas with car, go halfsies on bills (even though i’m the only one who utilizes HBO (and that use is solely to watch girls)), put my lean cuisine in the microwave for me and rub my feet because no matter how often i wear them, my feet will never like high heels. buttttt, need i remind you that everyone wants what they can’t have. i mean, i’m sure that there is someone out there who is totally jealous that sometimes i spend all of saturday shopping at discount stores because i think that finding my size in that sparkly hunter green skirt that i saw in a size 0 shoved into a rack of winter coats is a hobby… just because i can.
the reality is that i can play that weirdo shopping game because the only person i have to worry about having enough time in weekend to get real errands done money in my bank account to pay my bills is me. i can leave the toilet paper sitting on top of the empty roll and i can go spring cleaning nuts in the middle of winter and know that it will stay that way for as long as i’m not too lazy to let the place go to shit. really, i am actually pretty lucky. the glass half full side of me is grateful that i’ve had this time to myself. to figure out on my own that taking advantage of 2 for 1 Ben&Jerry’s just means you’ll eat both of the pints, that buying fresh eggs is actually worth the shopping trip and to figure out what i want from a significant other to make me a better version of me.
so, the taken ones might be lucky to have found their person that inspires them to work out at least 3 times a week, but I am lucky enough to know what i’m looking for in a guy and to knock twice on the table to say “pass” until the right one comes along.
the day mia escaped my apartment during a tornado and i found her underneath a drain pipe, soaked, five floors below:
SoLaris 